Why I am afraid to start making games seriously

As an indie developer (who am I kidding, still merely a hobbyist), I am constantly scared of the possibility of making games that suck, and consequently not making enough money to pay my own bills. Currently I hold a dayjob that does not please me fully, and I have this lingering need to throw it all away and stop having a boss (who is known for bossing around *rimshot!*), so I could focus all my efforts into living off of what I enjoy (among other things, making games).

But reality’s harsher than that. As of right now, while I do have the support of my family, which allows me to quit such dayjob (hey, I’m still young a college student, I am still entitled to live with my family for a few years to come), I do not want to do that while I know I am not ready to take on this industry. I severely lack skills, both technical and organizational, the same way I don’t have any contacts at all.

Pursuing your dreams comes at the price of fighting your way in through a potentially hazardrous terrain, inserting yourself on what most probably is a wildly unpredictable market, and then face the possibility of unemployment. Sure, I can technically get that last part covered if I have my own business (or, in my specific case, share a business with the subject for my platonic love my role model), but that then brings the issue of preventing your business from going bankrupt. Some people might call it “fear of (un)success”, but I just call it “facing the reality”. Businesses often bite the dust. Software businesses really often bite the dust. Independent game studios bite the dust so often that even the internet forgets they ever existed.

I know that it isn’t the most rational or mature way of dealing with it, but I am really effing scared. Most of the time I try to project a optimistic, confident stance on this matter, and it really helps me whenever I am feeling doubt. But, sometimes, I cannot help but think that there is so much I need to learn about designing games, programming games, visual arts, sound effects, music composition, marketing, public relations, business logic, business administration… you get the picture. Of course, no small business worker is required to know all that from the beginning, a lot is learned as you go throught with it. But, at the same time, starting completely fresh is just asking to hit your nose on the first wall there is, and then look at it as if it is an obstacle that cannot be overcome. How ready do I need to get before I can get serious?

I know this is more of a rant that isn’t really going anywhere, but saying my worries out loud (or writing them down) has always been a good way of getting my thoughts sorted and thus making the path ahead clearer. That, and there’s always a possibility of a great mind to pass by at that exact moment, scoring me some possibly good advice. Anyone willing to share a bit of wisdom?

6 Notes/ Hide

  1. gamedesignnovice answered: I think the safe route is to keep your job, make your serious game in your spare time and polish it to a shine. Release and see what happens.
  2. moosadery answered: How much time do you have outside of work? How much dev do you do in your free time? Any team projects? 140 chars isn’t much to type with :(
  3. w-w-c-j-h-d answered: The Pokémon project. You should give it a try.
  4. paperparachute answered: I wish I could offer advice, but I only have sympathy. I feel the same way, very very often.
  5. lessie2d posted this